“Volcanoes erupt every day.” According to the nun at the 2011 Gilby Middle school science fair. I believed her too. No reason to argue or check Wikipedia on my iphone (product placement, pay me). She wasn’t just any nun but one of the sluttiest nature. Cleavage like the beautiful mountains of the Appalachians valleys and the same smell of moon shine wafted from her lips. I was aware of the event thanks to the Gilby Gazette’s event schedule section. I just had arrived 10 minutes prior to the volcanologist stripper nun’s announcement. 10 teams of 3 students each had entered this science fair. I observed all the projects with great disappointment. “These kids are stupid” I meant to say under my breath but accidentally announced out loud placing my hands in the form of a cone to echo throughout the gym/cafeteria. Some may say my criticism is harsh for a middle school science fair but I challenge the youth to impress me. If they only knew the true….. You can’t impress me. Why try… Spend your entire life striving for my approval and die unsatisfied. My children will hate me and their children will hate Norwegians from Norwegia. I am bored with this event; let me check the Gilby Gazette. Failure… this is only event scheduled for today. Well time to talk to the nun. “Hey sister” she replies “what do you mean sister.” While waving her hands and snapping. Clearly this nun does not know she is a nun or a Caucasian woman. We can work through this remember her nipples are visibly hard through the slightly tailor black robe. Fuck it! I’m feeling lazy. I guess it’s time to use the secret weapon of love. MONEY!!! And lots of it. I offer a couple hundred dollars but intend on running out the window FAST after intercourse. The trick to being a trick is choosing a hooker that you are clearly in better shape than. I can out run this nun, I am confident in that assumption. I am also smarter than this woman, easily. (Note: omit this sentence late due to being unnecessary to the reader). I could go into great detail of the crazy antics that ensued during the remainder of the science fair to include the chicken explosion, 2 on scene child births, and a racially driven police beat down (A china man, old too, very old) but I will get to the moral of the story.
If you plan on pulling the ole’ “Penetrate and Skate” don’t ever…. EVER agree to bondage role play. Please donate to Wizini Nation if you want to hear more of your favorite stories of my adventures in Gilby ND, run-ins with the gypsies, airport incidents, and other literary genius. I would like to reiterate the PLEASE to the extent of begging as to the fact that I am completely broke with not credit cards or Identification of any kind.
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